“Ever since i can remember, i have been a submissive. As a child i never really understood why in fairy tales the hero would try to escape the clutches of the Evil Queen. As i grew up i learned to fit in among alphas but i never really felt myself. i began to explore my feeling on the internet. i gravitated towards the mainstream sites but in time they seemed increasingly formulaic and forced. i craved something more real, more authentic, more personal.
i had sampled clip sites like clips4sale and IWantClips but nothing really resonated. Then one day i stumbled across Goddess LatexBarbie. A vision in purple hair and bubble gum coloured cat suits. At that moment i knew i had discovered what i was looking for. At first i was too nervous to approach. i bought clips. A couple at first but then more and more. At this time i particularly remember the clip series “Heavy Rubber Mindfuck" as speaking to me. i began to tribute in the hope of getting noticed. i knew i had to make this work.
i took a deep breath and applied to be a slave. i didn’t know what to expect and in hindsight i was horribly ill-prepared. The first few weeks were tense. i had not yet learnt to fully surrender control. i half expected to be conned, to be gradually drained and then be left out in the cold. However, Goddess Latexbarbie was patient, breaking me in slowly so i didn’t spook a bolt. i am grateful, that she saw potential. Gradually i became more relaxed. She would tell me about her kinky adventures going to fetish parties and i began to realize, she was real. i had nothing to fear but my own insecurities. i had learned to give in, i had learned to be myself.
My training started with edging and bingeing. 6 or 8 hour session of edging and draining. To my joy, She has put me on many training schedules. i have probably spent about a third of the year either undergoing butt plug training; on a forced orgasms schedule; following a cum eating programme or in chasity. Goddess LatexBarbie always keeps me busy.
In particular happy memory was when She put on a forced orgasm schedule to make myself addicted to feet. Before that i was never titillated by them nor excited by the fear of facing them. Totally ‘meh'. However during the programme my body gradually associated feet to the pleasure and my mind changed. Now i react on instinct. i love how my Goddess has changed me for her amusement. The cum eating schedule unfortunately didn’t have the same success. Maybe i need more practice!
When not being forced to have orgasms She have sentenced me to chastity. Goddess has helpped, building me up slowly from a chastity virgin to a whole month in Loctober. i love wearing a constant reminder of my submission to Her.
Goddess LatexBarbie also releases many challenges whether as part of a clip, as part of a challenge series or just when she feels like it. i have completed many sissy tasks. She has opened up a part of me that i have previously repressed. Cock and ball torture challenges are always very exciting seeing what she has in store next. Another memorable task was to give myself a vodka enema. It was a weird fun kind of drunk but i suffered the following day!
i have had the privilege to both purchase things for and from my Goddess. Early on in my training, after a bathtub photo shoot i naively said i would love to drink her dirty bathwater. “That can be arranged...” came the reply. The taste was soapy but i prized that it was infused with her essence. i have also acquired two pairs of panties and two socks from Her that i sniff regularly. In the other direction i have had the honour of buying Goddess LatexBarbie both fetish and vanilla clothes, as well as apartment furnishings. She has such great taste, it’s such a pleasure. She has a genuine passion for latex and always like the same things as i do. It is satisfying to know she loves wearing them as much as i like looking at them. i always get a buzz when i see her in something from me.
Over the year she has helped me develop a nightly ritual. First i worship in front of the shrine i have built. i sniff her panties, recite my mantras before kissing a photo of her ass. i put on my sissy Barbie pyjamas and goes to sleep. If She does not disturbed by a 3am Kik message i wake up to an alarm of her voice reminding me of my place.
Day to day i communicate to Goddess via Kik. We speak roughly every other day, sometimes just for a quick check in other times it can lead to a session. i have Skyped a few times. In my first session i was so nervous i struggled to climax. Only later did i discovered she had planted suggestions against me to torture me. i have phoned both to talk and to be ignored. i love just listening in while she goes about her day.
i watch all her clips. She always hit the mark. It’s exciting to be introduced to a new fetish i didn’t know i had. Goddess LatexBarbie has a kinky instinct ready to lead me astray. i follow her adventures on iwantfanclub and Twitter (and i look forward to LatexBarbieland.com) She lives an amazing kinky life going to fetish parties and latex photo shoots. Over the years have seen her travels to Las Vegas (AVN), Hong Kong, and a road trip of America.
There have of course been times when i have struggled. Sometime i have been busy at work or dealing with personal issues and just want to rest. However She can be just what i need to take my mind of things. On a couple of occasions i have freaked out a little but She has always respects my limits and has help me regain my composure.
Overall it has been amazing, eventful year. It is always exciting wondering what She has in store next or planning the next binge. The anticipation (sometime deliberately drawn out by Her) can be the most exciting bit. i have learnt so much about myself. It has improved me as a person, from respect and patience to traits not immediately associated with submission such as being proactive and confident. A friend of mine told me that he notice i have really started to taken control over the past year. i couldn't help but smile.
Next year i hope to continue my training with Goddess, going harder and for longer. i wish to build on our trust and respect to engage in more intense play. i use to think i had an imaginative kinky mind but Goddess Latexbarbie is so much deeper. i have just earned the right to wear Goddess Latexbarbie collar, i know i am just beginning my journey. “ - BarbiesPupper